Archive for the ‘College Basketball’ Category

psycho-t.jpgTyler Hansbrough has altered the landscape of college basketball’s most heralded rivalry: Duke Verse North Carolina. For the first time in the rivalry’s history, people unrelated with either university will be rooting for Duke. Hansbrough has miraculously made the North Carolina Tar Heels more hated than the Duke Blue Devils.

“I’m not sure why people hate him (Hansbrough) so much,” Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski said.

“It’s obvious why people have hated us all these years. We always have a roster that looks like a frat intramural team and we make up for our lack of athletic ability by sliding under opponents when they go up for a shot attempt. To make it worse, we always get the charge call. It’s pretty infuriating to watch.”

The disgust towards Hansbrough, however, is more of an enigma. Some say it’s the obnoxious look on his face that has earned him the nickname, “Psycho-T,” others allude to the fact that he’s another overrated white college player that will be nothing more than a mere role player in the NBA, but the most logical and simple explanation is that his game is utterly unbearable to watch.

paulus.jpgIronic, because it was Duke guard Greg Paulus who once owned that title. Fortunately, for college basketball fans who have to sit through 30 televised Duke games a year, Paulus somehow managed to develop discernable skills over the offseason. In fact, experts even debate the possibility that Duke is actually a fun team to watch this year.

Nevertheless, Hansbrough is comfortable¬†with his (and his team’s) newfound unpopularity.

“Everybody’s used to hating Duke, but they better get used to hating me,” Hansbrough said. “I’m going to be around for a while because chances are I’m not a lottery pick, so fans just have to deal with me drawing a foul and converting every out-of-control-double-pump-layup I shoot. ”

Who would have imagined a team, let alone an individual, could be aggravating enough to overtake Duke as most loathed. Well, Hansbrough did. Not with finesse and grace but rather like his game: awkwardly and oafish.


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Today on ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption,” Coach K revealed that one of his hobbies was gardening. Krzyzewski went onto name other activities he enjoys, they included:


  • Biking
  • Kidnapping ACC referees, tying them up in a corner, and then screaming obscenities towards his captives
  • Poetry
  • Perfecting his comb-over
  • Recruiting clean cut white boys
  • Visiting the local farmer’s market
  • Spelling his name with Alpha-Blocks
  • Cranking dat Soulja Boy

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